Columbia Pictures. 2024. Comedy Adventure. 115 min.
Grade: 2 out of 4
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire begins with a quote from the poet Robert Frost, a bizarre first for a supernatural comedy franchise that dates back to a 1984 original that is—spoiler alert—still the best of the lot. The quote is meant to be a warning about what’s to come but, as it turns out, Frost is warning us that this fifth entry in the series will continue to distance itself from the original two films (and the cruelly dismissed, but still not great, 2016 female-led version) by jettisoning much of its humor and replacing it with action sequences not far removed from recent high energy, empty calorie thrill rides like Jungle Cruise. Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, then, doubles down on a bad bet, as this beloved series continues down an unfulfilling and humor-deprived family adventure path while none of the new characters pop strongly enough to be as adored 40 years from now as Peter, Ray, Egon, and Winston remain 40 years after the original.
Those new characters, of course, are the Spenglers, introduced in 2021’s Afterlife, which was directed by Jason Reitman, the son of Ghostbusters I and II director Ivan Reitman. While Jason may be the better director (he has four Oscar nominations), Ivan was lighter, funnier, and knew exactly how seriously to take the material. In the two hours of dreary nostalgia that comprised Afterlife, Jason introduced audiences to the descendants of OG ghostbuster Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis, who died in 2014); Egon’s daughter Callie (Carrie Coon), her son, Trevor (Finn Wolfhard, who barely registers after two films), and her bespectacled teenage daughter, Phoebe (Mckenna Grace). They were joined by the ever-reliable Paul Rudd as Callie’s boyfriend who, by virtue of taking his character seriously but always being in on the joke, felt the most like a spiritual descendant of the original bunch. Yet the whole thing felt slightly misjudged, as if Reitman was rebooting the concept but dumping what made it sing, the swaggering and louche foursome who embodied it, led by Bill Murray without whom it’s hard to imaging this franchise being nearly as successful. Frozen Empire, directed by Gil Kenan who co-wrote Afterlife, continues the adventures of the bickering Spengler clan while also shoehorning in too many other characters for the film to juggle and us to care about. That includes Afterlife holdovers Podcast (Logan Kim) and Lucky (Celeste O’Connor) neither of whom have managed to leave the slightest impression despite their obvious positioning as stars of some future ghost busting spinoff which, at this point, is about as probable as a sequel to Madame Webb.
At least Frozen Empire has the good sense to leave the dusty Oklahoma confines of Afterlife and set the action in New York City where Gen X-targeted shout-outs to the original films can run wild. The fan servicing starts early with the Ecto-1 racing from the Ghostbusters’ Manhattan firehouse headquarters in pursuit of a giant ghostly dragon. After the chase sends chunks of concrete crashing onto the streets of Manhattan, an angry—and presumably still “dickless”—Mayor Peck (William Atherton, making the most of an extended cameo) throws Phoebe off the team, proclaiming the 15-year-old too young to wield what the first film described as an “unlicensed nuclear accelerator.” This results in her own story thread, a half-assed attempt at portraying LGBTQ+ attraction as Phoebe strikes up a friendship with a teenage ghost named Melody (Emily Alyn Lind). There’s cowardly studio bet-hedging in Phoebe and Melody’s quasi-flirtation, throwing it out there and asking audiences to make of it what their sociopolitical leanings will allow.
Like the dragon from the opening action salvo, the plot twists and squirms at breakneck speed when all we’re curious about is how it’ll bring back the original surviving trio and whether they can inject some charm or winking humor into things. If only. Bill Murray—who could have singlehandedly gotten the film on its feet—looks like he participated only because there was a golf tournament in town the following weekend. He’s given little to do other than show up and provide the oldsters with the feels which is hard when he’s treating the whole thing like he’s trying to make the best of traffic school. The script, credited to Reitman and Kenan, finds more for Ernie Hudson’s Winston Zeddmore whose entrepreneurial wealth allows the filmmakers to update the ghostbusters’ equipment and add more ghosts, many of whom are imprisoned in Winston’s tricked-out lab. Fairing best is Dan Aykroyd, who always seems to welcome an opportunity to return to the world that he and Ramis co-created and his abiding love for the franchise provides whatever genuine memory-lane warmth the film has to offer. Aykroyd’s Ray Stanz also kicks the plot into gear when fast-talking nobody Nadeem (Kumail Nanjiani) enters Ray’s occult shop and sells him his grandmother’s heirloom, an orb that, thanks to some nonsensical plot machinations we didn’t really pay attention to, threatens to unleash the towering, rams horn adorned Garraka, the movie’s generic big deal monster, who is hellbent on turning the Earth into a giant ice cube.
Ghostbusters: Frozen Planet is not devoid of fun, it’s just devoid of purpose or a story asking to be told for anything other than reasons best expressed during Sony’s next earnings call. But if there must be a third installment of this particularly loud and dull iteration of the series, here’s an idea: Patton Oswalt aces his one scene as a curator at the New York Public Library. He spouts exposition with enthusiasm, a hint of loose, breezy fun, and a sense that he’s enjoying selling such hokum. Pair him with Nanjiani, who laces every line with sarcasm, and Grace, as the lesbian science nerd, and bustin’ will finally make us feel good again. But since that has zero chance of happening, maybe it’s time to put the Ghostbusters franchise on ice.