(Garnet Films)
United Front Films, 2023. Rom-Com. 1 hr 33 min.
Grade: 2 out of 4
The Green Oak Guardian tells a story that would make more sense in the ’90s, when, in the wake of Batman and Dick Tracy, movie studios fell all over themselves to grab the rights to any comic they could, resulting in movies as diverse as Brenda Starr, Ghost World, Spawn, Garfield, and American Splendor, to name a few. Now that we’re in the all-Marvel-and-DC all the time era, it seems less likely that a big studio would go out of its way to snap up an independent strip that looks like Dilbert creator Scott Adams drawing Dudley Do-Right, especially if the artist is a notoriously reclusive, J.D. Salinger-like crank case. But such is the tale afoot here, and to be fair, there are relatively few signs of the times apart from laptops.
The supposed angry old man named J. T. McSweeny who draws the Green Oak Guardian comic is in fact Joanne McSween (Abi Van Andel), a single mom who believes that she wouldn’t be able to sell a male superhero comic if people knew she was a woman. She based the character on her husband, a forest firefighter who died in the line of duty. So when she hears that a movie star with a reputation for philandering has been cast in the movie, she disapproves vehemently, and the studio, quite uncharacteristically, cares. (How exactly did these movie rights get sold to begin with?) So they send star Grayson Kane (Houston Rhines) to “J.T. McSweeny”’s hometown in Ohio to convince the author he’s the right actor for the gig.
Meeting Joanne’s father Earl (Duffy Hudson), Kane assumes he must be J.T., and Earl plays along. Both are shocked to find the other to be nicer than expected, but Joanne’s not convinced. At least at first. You don’t need super powers to see where this is all going eventually; it’s a classic false-pretenses rom-com setup. Although when Grayson does eventually discover the truth, he’s totally chill about it. The obligatory angry walkout happens much later, by which time the film has morphed into a culture clash comedy about the big-city movie crew coming to a small town and acting liked spoiled assholes.
It’s a movie crew of maybe five people we actually see on camera, as The Green Oak Guardian itself is a production attempting a lot with little. It benefits from the locations in Carrollton, Ohio, which has some great houses, nice hilly views, and plenty of green trees.
Less benefit is to be found in the acting and directing thereof, with most of the cast playing their parts big and theatrical, like they’re actually on a stage and playing to the back of the house. When the obligatory over-the-top movie director shows up, it’s Road Warrior/Commando arch-villain Vernon Wells, because that’s who it takes to project over the others. Van Andel and Hudson keep it real, understanding they’re on camera, and feel like a genuine daddy-daughter team. Most everyone else overplays, a trend director Lana Read ought to have put a stop to if she liked what her leads were giving her.
As for the humor, it works best when it almost seems unintentional. After nitpicking his preparation, Joanne sees Grayson in the movie costume, and tells him it looks perfect, apparently barely noticing it’s nothing at all like her drawing. Composer Christopher Saint Booth seems to be attempting a modern take on Clannad’s Robin of Sherwood themes, creating a melancholy tone that undercuts the wacky misunderstandings.
The best thing about The Green Oak Guardian is that it might infuriate all the right people in its depiction of an action hero thespian taking direction from a female comic creator and rethinking his approach. It’s probably “woke” in some way, and if that induces a tantrum, great. But that might require someone to have a strong emotional reaction to the movie, and it’s so resolutely so-so. If you’ve read this far, believe me, you can fill in all the gaps in your head without actually watching.
Is it a bad movie? Nahh. It’s too nice to hate. But while nice may spare a movie the full wrath of a critic, in this case it’s not quite enough to merit an endorsement.